Sunday Thoughts | Remembering Lolo

 

On February 22, my grandfather would have been 91, of course, had he lived long enough to reach this milestone. He died when he was 81, just a few weeks shy of his 82nd birthday. He had lived a relatively robust and healthy life, surviving the horrors of World War II, as well as accidents, and health scares. He lost his appendix and a kidney, nearly receiving an invasive procedure because of undigested cow’s innards. He fell off a cliff many times in the name of duty as a heavy equipment operator. The worst forms of death simply eluded him because he was to die in the peace of his home.  

Every time I hear the song The Leader of the Band sung by Dan Fogelberg, I remember my grandfather, not because it was his favorite song. “The leader of the band is tired and his eyes are growing old…” that line simply reminds me of him. Mat Monroe and Nat King Cole, by the way, were his favorite singers; Mona Lisa by the latter, his favorite song. That is why at a young age, I already memorized a number of 50s and 60s classics, not because they’re my favourites, but because they were repetitively played almost every day, more frequently when he, my father, and uncle were on drinking binge, which I hated a lot.

My grandfather taught me to hate drinking at a young age (more about that in next stories), not because he was a teetotaller, but because he would drink his problems – and joys – away. And the quarrels and small accidents that would happen afterwards would always terrify me. My father beat him at that; he is a serial drinker. I am their total opposite. For that, I thank both of them for setting the examples.

Lolo told me the most wonderful stories from his childhood adventures and misadventures. He loved to drive and my love for road trips to faraway places I attribute to him. When he retired he bought a Pinoy Owner-type jeep and he would take me to the beach, to the countryside, and elsewhere. Compared to my grandmother who had the difficulty of parting with her pesos, my grandfather was reasonably generous. When he thought I deserved a reward after getting a prize at school, he would buy me a book or a toy. I have to credit him for nurturing my interest for reading and books.

He lived a full life. I admire his boldness and courage to pursue what catches his attention. He was an artisan. Bored with retirement, he bought a welding machine and metal rods. He made bed frames, plant stands, knives, and everything that his imagination told him. There was a time when he was crazy about raising marcotted fruiting plants, too.

Alas, he was never good at handling his finances. He invested the  retirement lump sum on motorcycles, which, he rented out to tricycle drivers for a daily arkela. He also bought a passenger jeepney for the same reason. For the next three or so years, we were financially OK. But the upkeep and annual dues, taxes, etc., coupled with daily household expenses him and my grandmother. The motorcycle failed one by one, you get reckless drivers who did not care about the vehicle. Some would even run away without paying the rent.  He died without any savings. The only financial incentive my grandmother ever received was the burial benefit that the government paid her as his survivor.  

He was 81 when he deteriorated. It was quick. CA of the liver. His lifelong affair with the booze had finally caught up with him. He was diagnosed in August of 2013. There were days when he felt weak and it worried me; on days when he felt his old, usual self, those were moments when I sighed with relief. In late October he finally weakened. By December he could no longer walk and was bedridden until he finally passed on in January 2014.

The morning after my grandmother died six months  later, I awoke after a dream. We were inside the church, they were walking together towards the huge door, the light coming through was so bright it hurt my eyes. I was standing in the middle of the church, while they kept walking slowly, together, towards the door, towards the light. When I woke up, that’s how I knew that they were finally together.

Sunday Thoughts | Stay Calm

January 7, 2023 - I hope people realize that there is no point freaking out on petty issues. Example,  losing on student competition and ranting about it on social media. Or trying to rebut the rant just to make sense out of the nonsense. 

There is really no point of raising a sword just to slap a fly.

In years to come, you will realize there's no point on ranting at all. You just wasted your energy and time (or worst you lowered your energy level) over nonsensical issues.

You just wasted your breath, hence, shortening your life for what? For a trophy thay you can't bring the grave? For pride? For unmet expectations that you could easily move forward from.

A calm Sunday, friends.

Sunday Thoughts | Advocacy is Beauty

January 15, 2023  - The best beauty queens for me are those who have had their advocacies way before they joined a beauty pageant. I think Miss USA (who happens to claim Filipino ancestry, too, if i am not mistaken) nailed it because of her long running advocacy and she can confidently speak about it. 

You know too well about their advocacies when you hear them relate their answers during the Q&A to the groundwork that they've done and build over time, and the impact that they have contributed. Be it gender equality, mental health, environmental activism, so on and so forth, every advocacy that brings good to the life of others, every beauty title holder aspirant should make herself an example of what a responsible human being is. After all, beauty should have a purpose. 

This is also a note to students who aspire to join any school-based beauty search... diba, mga Mr. & Miss CAPSU?

And I, thank you!

A journey in writing

Some people asked me if i have a degree in language or literature and  i would politely reply, No i dont. Interestingly i am a Science teaching education graduate but i havent taught any science subject since 2015 and i dont intend to.  I took English as a second major right after finishing college (while waiting for my board exam results), but what i learned about writing came from my experience as a writer. 

I joined the college paper when i was a freshman student and our school paper adviser - the same school paper adviser who honed Tito Ralph Gerard Marcelo Cadiz  to be an award winning student editor - was the one who nurtured my knowledge in writing and editing.

Then, in graduate school, for my first master's degree (i have two, by the way), my thesis writing adviser and our graduate school dean were instrumental in sharpening my analytical and critical skills and  applying it into research and translating this into the written words. 

In 2016, i volunteered to write the notes for a museum exhibit. There were some researches to do and drafts to prepare. We have an 80-something-year-old consultant who was a published author abroad. After reading and butchering my work, she told me, "You know what, you write good. But could do better. It's always good to aim for the moon. Even if you fall, you'll land upon the stars." I was goose-bumped that  moment and that quote has stuck on my mind ever since. 

My work as a librarian has trained me the nitty gritty of searching books, finding resources and networking with other librarians, historians, and people who could be excellent sources of knowledge.

While these experiences were priceless, i also have to thank my daily habit of reading that seriously enriched my vocabulary. I read novels and non-fiction books. In college, i even read Precious Hearts and Harlequin romances and Barbara Cartland books. If you want to flex your imagination, try romance pocket books!

 I try to study the writing styles of authors whose works I have devoured. My personal favourites in the fiction realm are Debbie Macomber, Danielle Steel,  Mitch Albom and Cecilia Brainard .  In terms of nonfiction, I like the way Felice Prudente Sta. Maria and Janet Wallach write. Their talent for research are also worth noting. 

Yes, look up to someone.  I may have not yet achieved the same level of successes that they do, but I know one day i will.

A lot of people tell me why do i keep working as a librarian when I could be a faculty member. I could even be a university professor one day, someone said! I just smile when i hear them convince me. I dont want to be a university professor. I want to be a librarian first and a best-selling author most importantly. At least on Amazon. I am now very clear about myself about what i want to be. And i no longer want to be something or someone because people told me so. I want to be someone because that's what i want. When i finally realized that, i felt at peace about myself.

So now, dear friends, if you want to find a sense of happiness, be very clear about what you want to be. And strive hard and smart to hit that mark. 

Happy weekend!

(Written February 12, 2022)

Sunday Thoughts | Still, it's a good life

February 12, 2023 - Yesterday, I was able to travel outside Panay Island to join a learning visit in Bacolod.  This is the first time since 2019 that I left my home-island (Boracay, which I have visited thrice since the onset of the pandemic, is, after all, part of Aklan, which is part of Panay Island). While crossing the open sea, thoughts of my former, pre-pandemic life came back to my memory.

I was a serial traveler back then. Almost every weekend I would leave home to climb a mountain, cross a river or a sea, or simply be a stranger is a strange place. A trip usually took me 3-4 hours, not less than that. I once went on a 12-hour bus ride and a 24-hour plane trip (layover included), physically exhausting, but spiritually nourishng.

Yesterday, As the vessel traversed the Guimaras Strait, the cerulean water reflected some thoughts about yesteryears... Suddenly, it is travel time and I felt once more the giddy sense of arriving to a new place for the first time. What excitement lies ahead every time I find my way, never mind if I get lost, I know I'll always find my way. 

But times have changed. The pandemic completely turned me into a semi-anti-social. I became more concerned about my father's alcoholic tendencies (but I made up my mind that I will arrangements comes the time when i have to travel for days... Again). My workload has gone more... Well... Loaded. 

I know deep in my heart that I will take the roads less traveled again. But as I stay put in one place for now, i always remind myself that where I am is where I am meant to be. Still, it's a good life.

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Sunday Thoughts is my weekend series where I write about my thoughts for the week that was and what transpired in life. Read more about my Sunday Thoughts via #ChristiansSundayThoughts or visit my blog http://ChristianGeorgeAcevedo.blogspot.com for more stories.

Sunday Thoughts | I'm a Writer, not a Content Mill

February 19, 2023 - It was half past 10 o'clock in the evening already and I am preparing to sleep, but I cannot put off my phone because my interest still wouldn't let go of the online article that I was reading. Suddenly a Message popped out on my screen. 

"Sorry for the late notice... Are you still awake? can you write me a blah blah blah for this blah blah blah. We badly need this ASAP."

In my mind, I said, "No, you aren't sorry. No, you don't badly need it. And no, it isn't ASAP." The one who sent me the message was just panicky, I know.  

But just to make it clear, I am a writer, not a content mill. 

I had the habit of setting my Messenger alarm off, especially at night and on the weekends, but for this instance, I forgot about, so the message opened itself to me. 

People always think that because I can write, I can write anything. I love to write, it Is a form of self expression for me. Also, I have to love, or at least show interest, to what I write about if I am to produce a neat piece. But a lot of people just don't understand that. Just because I know how to combine words together doesn't mean I can produce a story instantly.  In fact there are days when I don't write at all. not even for myself because I don't feel like. And I dread it the most when I am asked to write when all I want is to stare blankly... or work on my garden... Or sleep... Or do something else but write. 

While there are writers who would tell aspiring ones to just keep writing until the story is done, there are also those who would suggest to stop writing after long days of work and let their work or the idea simmer. Get back to it after a few days or weeks, that is, after the mind is refreshed and the perspectives reset. 

In short, there is no single best way in writing. It is always up to the writer. And for me, for now, I write when there is a strong inner push, or when the desire overflows that my mind can't contain it anymore. Or there a sudden burst of inspiration comes by. Just like now, I felt writing this piece while I am in the middle of mopping the floor.

***

Sunday Thoughts is my weekend series where I write about my thoughts for the week that was and what transpired in life. Read more about my Sunday Thoughts via #ChristiansSundayThoughts or visit my blog http://ChristianGeorgeAcevedo.blogspot.com for more stories.

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