Alone but not Lonely

I am alone, but never lonely. In my solitude, I find bliss.

I have always been alone. All my life, I have had lonesome moments. Note: lonesome, not lonely. I can live with people right with me. I can deal with a crowd. I can speak in front of a multitude. I can socialize in events. But then, I can also eat outside on my own, with no one as a "date." I can go shopping all alone. I go to church with me, myself, and I—and God, of course—as company. 

I always cherish the moments with people who matter most to me. I am always keen to meeting people and making new friends. I never hesitate to talk to someone when I feel like talking. I can voice out my opinions without inhibitions. But I also cherish my being lonesome. My being alone. I always thank God for giving me that two-faceted traits. Chameleon-like, I should say.

The gift of lonesomeness is something that not too many of us are gifted. I have read and heard so many stories of people committing suicide because they were left behind by loved ones, or falling deep under depression because feel so “alone.”

I think my ability to cope cope with “lonesomeness” stems from the fact that I know how define what is being “alone” from what is being “lonely.” You can be with people. You can be the center of the whole, wide world. You can be the most popular celebrity. You can be the most revered campus icon. But that doesn’t make you susceptible to loneliness. Loneliness can strike anyone. It’s a state of emotion, a feeling of emptiness that boils down to misery. Whereas, once alone-ness is not having someone beside you, being you, on your own. One and alone, and yet, without feeling any emptiness.

I believe loneliness stems from the lack of contentment. You want more attention. More material things. More from this world, without ever giving back in return. But once you failed to achieve what you want, that’s where the thought of being useless comes in. That’s when you feel lonely.

Contentment, I believe, has been ingrained within me right from the start. I was raised by a frugal grandmother and a strict grandfather. They have always told me to be happy with what I have and not crave for what I cannot have. They have instilled within me the need to work hard and give my best in everything I do. They let me be who I am at school, without interfering, and so, I learned to be independent and not depend on anyone—physically, financially, emotionally, and intellectually. That is why, maybe, I have no qualms if ever I am alone, or I don’t have that much material stuffs. In my own words, I can proudly say that I am complete. God must have filled me with His grace and love through my family. And that, I believe, is the greatest gift that I am forevermore contented.

Going back to being lonely and alone, let me tell you this:

I AM ALONE, BUT NEVER, EVER LONELY.

Now, there’s the difference.